


Love Drunk

by RebelDrFerguson



Series: Calling Dr Pilfrey [3]
Category: Fortysomething
Genre: Achohol abuse, Angst, Divorce, Drama, F/M, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3844237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelDrFerguson/pseuds/RebelDrFerguson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paul seems to have gone off track and his and Estelle's marriage is going down the drain. The boys have reached a new level of rebellion and Ronnie seems stuck between it all trying to keep his co-worker afloat and his lust for Estelle out of the picture. The bottle bin at home is full and a life changing decision is tearing towards the couple as Estelle finds comfort in the arms of someone who isn't Paul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm broken, don't break me

What was she going to say? 

Walking out on Paul had entirely been on the spur of the moment, but his behaviour recently had just been so out of line and so it had an effect on the boys.  
She sighed heavily as she took another drag on her cigarette. She didn’t know what to do. The job meant a lot to her and she needed to spend more time focusing on her clients yet ever since she got the job things began falling apart. 

She grimaced at the memory of last week, she had met Ronnie for a casual business dinner in a little Italian place and she had kept it from Paul for a reason knowing he’d flip his shit. 

Sadly she had not expected him to take any house calls that day and sadly having driven by he saw them. How? She had no idea, but when you were married to a guy with a built in wife detector it was hard to stay out of range. She hadn’t managed to finish dinner with Ronnie due to Paul’s outbreak so had rescheduled for tomorrow.  
It wasn't like Paul didn't like her working as well, it was financial help, it didn't hurt. But he was just always on edge about other men being around her. When they first got married this hadn't been an issue. Young and in love, Young Doctor and his pregnant wife enjoying life, but as the kids grew up and Paul and herself hit the 40's he seemed to become self conscious of everything.

From little grey hairs, to the girls his sons where bringing home, the amount of sex they had now to whether Ronnie was too close to the drive way. She knew Ronnie liked her. She hadn't really minded about the idiot. It was quite nice to have such an admirer, but Ronnie was just a little to wanting. He didn't stalk her thank goodness but if he got a chance to talk with her he'd stick to her side like glue unless Paul appeared or he had reason to leave.

He was only 2 years younger than Paul but he had more life so to speak. He went to the gym on a weekend, he like to see horse races, he had a much fancier car and a love for world food unlike Paul who was very much a pie and mash or pizza sort of man really. 

She glanced to the bottle of wine on her desk. She'd had that in her drawer for months and only had a drink every now and then, but she realised back at home the bottle bin was full when she'd passed it. The boys were beer drinkers more than wine and red wine was very much Paul's forte.  
His drinking habits had always been moderate she guessed but clearly it had evolved in a haze under the black spots in her vision. Perhaps he was drinking too much. As a Doctor surely he knew how badly it can affect you when you become dependent on such things. 

Drawing back on her cigarette again she pondered it for a moment. Could Paul be ill?

Her train of thought was interrupted by the entering of her boss Gwendolyn. "Hun, why are you here this late it's almost 9?" she asked opening a filing cabinet and putting away the folder she'd been reading.  
Estelle shook her head, swallowing back a lump of emotion in her throat before speaking. "I-I'm ... leaving Paul" she knew she wasn't sure of such an action but a night or so away from all the fuss in that house hold she should have a clearer idea. She found herself sobbing into the shoulder of her boss before she realised was even crying.  
"Your far too stressed out to stay in that house and work such odd hours my dear, look why don't you move in with me for a few nights, I have a spare room, I can't hurt you to get away from Paul, If I were you I'd have walked long before this" she sighs reaching for a tissue for the younger women. 

Unable to form any proper response she just nods and watches Gwen starts packing her stuff into a box and handing her, her handbag they make for the car. 

 

Despite an awkward late dinner conversation with Gwen and rejecting 2 calls from Paul she slept quite well. Gwen unsure whether her partner would be up to work today took some convincing over breakfast to let her join her to work. 

The morning was going as well as it could not counting the calls from Paul she kept rejecting, though when she heard a very familiar voice from the lobby she wished she hadn't gotten up from her desk to see. 

Dr Ronnie Pilfrey was standing in the lobby joking with Sue over something to do with an advert on the TV just above them. He was such a flirt. It made her cringe. Though he seemed to know his flirting was bad, he saw a humour in his own tactics. He wasn't rude, pushy, or a broken record. She wasn't sure just why she didn't like the 'little creep' as she'd called him a before. 

He wasn't so little at 6ft1...he had looks going for him so she wasn't sure why he didn't have a girlfriend. She ducked behind the door as he looked over her way. Why the hell was she spying on him standing in the lobby await Gwen?  
He was a gentle soul really. Paul mentioned his last relationship had ended over 8 years ago when his old medical school grad girlfriend ran off with some masters professors on her course, 39 and alone, she guessed that wasn't very fun. She watched him for quite some time as he stood quietly watching the TV in the lobby with his hands in his suit pockets. 

He was dressed quite smartly for his day off, He only worked 3 days in the clinic now after his breakdown and he seemed better for the change really. He had a few more qualifications than Paul which was the reason a few other clinics had been interested in hiring Ronnie. A dark grey 3 piece suit, white shirt, and brown shoes, newspaper tucked under one arm, shaved, hair cut. She could see why he was employable, he was a very smart man, even if he did have some social issues. 

She shuffled back to her desk after finding she'd been stood there for almost fifteen minutes and Gwen finally appeared to talk with him taking him into her office.  
The women had decide to take all her appointments for today so she could focus on the last of her paper work for the week. she was just putting her next file away when Gwen came in. 

"Estelle? Sorry dear, but is there any chance you're up to talking with Ronnie?"

Estelle raised an eyebrow a little confused, yes Ronnie was her client but she was confused just what Gwen could handle herself unless Ronnie was flirting with her? that made her chuckle internally trust Ronnie to try converting a lesbian. 

She went to answer when the women cut her off, "It's nothing important but he has just mentioned he is qualified as a therapist and Councillor? He mentioned Paul was seeing him for a few things and then I mentioned you and he asked if he could speak with you...he said you don't have to but he would just like your side-" she shrugged.  
Gwen was worried, Estelle could see that and she was grateful the women cared about her but she didn't really fancy talking about her martial issues with Ronnie 'The Perv' Pilfrey.  
"Could it hurt?" Gwen asked. It was obvious that the women would feel better if she did speak with him. 

"Oh why not, it couldn't hurt no..." Gwen smiled at the answer and slipped back around the door trotting back across the marble floors to her office and Ronnie to tell him.  
Clearing her desk of papers and dropping her phone in her bag, Estelle took a deep breath. She was always a little nervous talking with Ronnie. Edwin had teased it was sexual tension and that she might secretly harbour feelings for him but she was sure it was just hope that he didn't try flashing her his socks. 

The knock on the door frame had her jump and she looked up to see the very cool and concerned steel blue eyes of the younger Doctor. 

"Dr Pilfrey, nice to see you again" she greeted carefully trying not to sound sarcastic. He chuckled stepping in and shutting the door. He raised a hand when she gestured to the seat. "I won't stay long I promise I just wanted to ask how Paul's been at home? He mentioned yesterday you'd had an argument and wouldn't answer his calls?" he asked calmly, a hint of surprise in his tone. 

She blinked at him. "Why would you know?" she queried back and he shrugged. "Paul's using me for counselling...he was saying that he feels over worked and that the son's are burning him out, I've only spoken with him a few times but I get the feeling there's more to the story that he's not seeing...that is perhaps why you didn't go home last night as per what Gwendolyn just mentioned" 

Estelle gritted her teeth a little annoyed the older women had told him about her sleeping out of home last night but she knew it was all really just in good faith.  
"We did argue...but this has nothing really to do with the boys, there just acting out because of Paul" she huffed sitting back in her chair hands falling into her lap.  
Ronnie folded his arms pursing his lips in thought. "Acting out how?"

Estelle scoffed, "How haven't they? I mean if buying a truck load of fridges, to sex toys to selling fake drugs and cheating on their girlfriends with each others, Rory flipped and tried to stab Daniel and know we have a carving knife sticking out of the kitchen worktop, and Axe marks in his bedroom door!" She crumpled forward to her desk head in her hands in frustration. 

Ronnie winced, he had no experience with children seeing he had none of his own but he had a feeling when Paul had mentioned they'd had a 3rd son that things would become...problematic. 

"Paul...has recently been working a bit too much over time, I know he's covering a lot of patients I used to have but I feel he's burning himself out...he's clearly not in control of the situation at home and the recent flux of patients at the clinic I think has just made things...worse." he rubbed at his jaw a little nervously as she looked to him. 

"What about...yourself, you and Paul in general...family paradise not what it used to be?" If he sounded a touch snarky I was probably because Paul had always rubbed that lifestyle in Ronnie's face since they met, That Paul was a lot better with women and that he'd succeeded in becoming the 'alpha' male as it were having a wife and children.  
Paul seemed to brag about it as if Ronnie had never planned for such a thing himself. 

Estelle just laughed. "Paradise, is that what he calls it...perhaps for the first few years we were married sure, but 22 years in I doubt there much paradise at all...we both work, the kids are all in university ,we can't seemed to agree on what to have for dinner let alone what bills get paid, we haven't been on a holiday for 3 years and well you've seen Paul he can't suddenly seem to stand a another man talking to me whether it's business or not!" 

He nodded, he knew at first hand who defensive Paul was of Estelle and that lead him to wonder if he'd always really been that way...  
"Sorry again...about yesterday, Paul clearly doesn't understand the meaning of business dinner" she offered lamely still embarrassed to hell how he flipped out in that restaurant in front of all those people. 

He waved a hand before putting them back in his pockets, "It's okay, I can understand that he's protective if the other two parts of his life aren't quite so stable..." he sighed looking to his shoes.

His pager buzzed distracting them from much else conversation wise. "Ah, sorry house call, I'll have to love and leave you I'm afraid, but erm, yeah we'll have to talk again" he shuffled in his pocket for a little silver box which when he opened she realised was a card holder. 

"My number...in case you need me for anything yeah" he admitted shyly holing the card towards her. Estelle took it carefully wondering whether it would suddenly start singing if she touched it. He was out the door not a minute after she'd thanked him and was alone in her office once more, she turned the little paper card in her hand, finger tips feeling the smooth gloss coating and the tiny raised lettering if the quite formally expensive business card, that not to her surprise did not indeed start singing. Edwin's jokes and jibes about Ronnie had made her paranoid of the poor man. He was just an innocently lonely Doctor who'd had breakdown, not some sex crazed leather wearing pervert who drove round stalking young women. 

She tucked the little card in her purse and looked to the clock. Just 4 hours of work left. She hoped she'd have it in peace.


	2. When I hit the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (titles are lyrics of Dave Mathews - Some Devil, a recommended song that fits this fic very well)

What had she been doing?

When Paul saw Ronnie this morning he's said he'd spoken to Estelle but he was unable to tell him without her permission where she was staying. She hadn't been home in 3 days now and the boys were starting to poke him that she'd left him for good.

She'd left the boys a message about Gwen coming by for some files and that lead him to guess she was staying with her boss. He'd sat in the kitchen until 1am finishing a bottle of wine wondering if she would come back late. When she didn't he passed out on the sofa and was only woken when Rory hit him with a cushion asking for bus money.

He sat in the car park of the clinic in his car trying to phone her again, but this time it went straight to answer phone. Tossing the phone aside he set off towards home, planning to drive past the Recruitment office she worked at to see if he spotted her. As he pulled up at the lights before the centre, he spotted something in the offices car park. A silver Audi. Notably, Ronnie's Audi. Checking his watch he saw that it was at least an hour past his own leaving time so Ronnie had obviously left before him, but what would Ronnie be doing at the Centre at this time when they would be closed as well?

Unable to fight back his seething curiosity and over bearing need in defence of his wife he turned into the car park and ducked himself down into a empty spot to watch the car. A few minutes later and nothing had moved. So getting out he dashed around the side of the building and sat beneath Gwen's office window, leaning up a little to see if anyone was in there? No sign of her boss, but from his spot he could just see into Estelle's office on the other side. She was there and clearly talking with someone. No doubt Ronnie.

He slipped his phone free of his pocket and called her, watching through the window as she picked up her phone rejected the call and returned to her conversation. As Gwen suddenly appeared re-entering her office, Paul crawled around the side again back to his car and then around the other side of the building to sit beneath Estelle's window and he could just make out the conversation from an open window at the top.

"--If he thinks that ordering 20 pizzas, sex toys and herbal drugs online using his credit card is just 'boys will be boys', then god knows why he ever believed he'd be a good father!--"

"--I agree the herbal aphrodisiac should have raised a concern with Paul...I-I did test that...erm-"

"--You know what he did with it Ronnie? He put it in my food! A joke I don't know but he could have poisoned me!--"

"--He surely knew.....,he is a Doctor, but yes as a Doctor he should have known better--"

"--I-I don't know just what's gotten into him...when I called home this morning Rory told me he was passed out on the sofa having stayed up drinking--"

That seemed like interesting news to Ronnie as he went quiet and pulled out his phone. "--Has he ever had a problem with alcohol?--"

Estelle didn't say thing for a moment making Paul peer up to see through the window for a second before he ducked back down. "--No-....-well the last time-.......-4 Christmases ago when Peter brought the champagnes, he-........-he never used to drink so much---"

Unable to hear much for Estelle's mumbling and moving around he tried phoning her again. "you should really get that" he heard Ronnie point out as the room went quiet and her phone started ringing. "Yeah well..." she rejected it again He gave it a moment more of conversation before trying again. This time she huffed and excused herself as she picked up "--If the boys have brought a race horse on your credit card don't blame me--" she answered and he rolled his eyes.

"Why aren't you picking up? Where are you?" he demanded wondering if she would try to lie.

"I'm at the office finishing paperwork what else would I be doing?" she tried and he scoffed.

"So why can i hear Ronnie breathing? Why is he there? It's out of hours and he should be --"

"Why the hell would Ronnie be here?! What is your problem Paul for goodness sake! He can do as he wants your his boss not his owner!" she snapped at his questioning. She was getting fed up with his negative approach to her social life and her work.

"My problem! My problem is that creep trying to get into your knickers, he--"

"He is one of my clients you idiot he has ever right to come and see me, I make appointments for him to come and see me! I--"

"You make appointments at 7 o'clock at night!" he jibes jumping suddenly when the window above him banged loudly and he saw Estelle fuming down at him, "Get the fuck out of here Paul, I will bloody well call the police if I have too!" He was about to retort again when Gwen came rushing into the commotion and both her and Ronnie looked to agree on something before Ronnie turned and left the room.

Paul looked to Estelle half confused and half sorry heading around the corner and almost walking in to Ronnie as he came out the main doors with a rather unpleased look on his face. The challenge in the younger's eyes had him fuming again but it was clear this was no place for shouting. "You're stupid enough to think that you can come to me for counselling to not think I'm going to want to her your wife side of the story Paul, Seriously...?" he asks as he trudges past him.

"We don't need marriage counselling Pilfrey" he grunted.

"Relationships are difficult things Paul, People going through changes, people feel differently about each other, it's not easy and we all need to sit back to evaluate these things!" Ronnie tries to explains hands on his hips a little annoyed the man was resorting to spying on his own wife at work.

Paul pauses as he opens the car door, glancing back to the door as Gwen and Estelle appeared making a beeline for her bosses car, determined to ignore both men.

_'How did we get here?'_

He watches as they drive off and Ronnie is still stood there confused as to just what Paul is thinking at that moment. "She..she thinks' your drinking has gotten to point where you can't see yourself doing harm Paul she's concerned and rightly so...your sons need a father and your currently just ignoring such responsibilities" he sighed.

Paul just shook his head slowly as if he was denying to himself such things were possible.

"Paul!"

He looked back up to the younger Doctor who was still waiting for some sort for a response but his brain had decided it would very much rather think about whether Estelle was interested in Gwen and then about that bottle of white he'd still got in the rack.

_"She still drinks what's my drinking any different?"_

"You're going to have to give her space, you're getting far too spiteful over her social life and just because I'm a registered member of their company doesn't mean I'm running off with your wife, I know, I know you know I like Estelle, Paul but that...that part of my life is aside of me, I've changed, I've straighten myself out and I'm not cat calling your wife, Estelle keeps mentioning those sons of yours are poisoning the air with talking about me and her but well put it in your own terms 'Boys will be boys' there trying to cause friction...cause a drama, that's what teenage boys do" he sighed and fussed in his pocket for his own keys.

"look come see me again in the morning, sleep on it, but If I was you I'd leave message and apologise to Estelle for this...your pushing the line Paul and she won't take it much longer without good reason!"

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Not 48 hours later Ronnie had phoned Estelle about Paul not turning up for work. Surinder had called the house to get no answer several times until Daniel picked up saying Paul was passed out in bed.

"Fuck...I'm sorry Ronnie I'll head over at Lunch to see what the hell he's playing at"

"Hey, it's no problem I've moved a few appointments, I can handle the rest, maybe...maybe we need to get him to open to someone, what about friends...what friends has he got that could help you?"

"Peter...Peter's an ex Alcoholic he runs the AA centre in town...I could go see him, perhaps we can gather a few friends to help him" She wasn't convinced Paul's drinking was over the top but that perhaps it was the sign of worse to come.

"Great, that's a good start, I...erm I also wanted to talk about the Uppington clinic offer if that's no issues? Perhaps over dinner...again?" he asked, the creak of the leather chair he was sat in filled the moment of silence as he reached over his desk. Estelle bit her lip in wonder, on one hand she could do with a night out of her bosses way and another hand could she afford to be seen with Ronnie having dinner? Oh fuck it, fuck Paul and his bloody 'my wife' issues...

"Sure, what time?"

 

Just after 1 Paul surfaced from the bed, showered and rush out the house ignoring the fake cheers from Edwin and Daniel as he made for the Clinic feeling like a total idiot for not setting an alarm. He'd only just left when Estelle turned up and had to step her way carefully over the over flowing black bins, her eyes widening at the sight of the worrying pile of glass wine bottles.

"Where's your father?" she asked once finally inside the house.

"Gone to work" Edwin replied still busy playing on his Xbox with his girlfriend stretched in his lap.

"Right, okay..."

"How's Dr Pilfrey, dad says your doing him" he smirks making Estelle roll her eyes.

"What on earth makes you think I'm dating Ronnie?"

"Well you just called him Ronnie and not 'Little Creep' for that matter" he retorted laughing, finding no way out of this conversation but leaving she made her way upstairs to grab a few things but upon entering the bedroom she first noticed the almost empty bottle of white wine on the bedside table. It made her heart heavy. How long had this been going on and she'd not noticed? She recalled her and Paul usually had a bottle between them a few nights a week anyway but a bottle by himself was usual. If he was still trying to drink like he did with her and then drinking because he was depressed at all he'd be pushing his limit. It was become clear that something had jarred there relationship enough to start it sinking.

Leaving the house she made her way into town to see Peter. He lived just a few doors from the centre in which he did his AA meetings and she managed to have a good talk with him in his front garden about Paul. Peter was terribly concerned about his friend and offered to help in what way he could and suggested she come to meet with a few of the other member's who would be gathering for the meeting. What she hadn't expected was for Paul to be passing by the place on his home visiting.

Seeing his wife following his oldest friend Peter into Terrace Green medical community centre, he immediately began to think that perhaps she had a secret, she would always be the first to open a bottle of wine at home, she had bottles at work he knew that much and there was a chance she was having an affair? Knowing he was already 10 minutes late he planned to drive on planning to drop back afterwards to find out what she was doing with Peter. He'd be the same age as her and he was definitely better looking than himself. Hadn't his wife died a year or so ago?

He'd always flirted with Estelle at the parties hadn't he. He was a charmer, he also had quite a lot of money, family business still going the son and daughter having taken over. Estelle was high maintenance. He pondered all of this before realising he'd only made ait a few feet down the road and was not any closer to his house visit than he was from being outside that meeting. Unable to ignore his thoughts he drove to the end of the road and then turning around pulled up in front of a house a few feet away waiting to see her come out. It wasn't much later when she did and then crossed the street heading away back towards the main road.

He exited the car and pulled out his phone to call Surinder.

"Hey Surinder, I'm in Turnham Green..I'm taking a-" he was about to tell her he was making a detour but an older man appeared behind him

"Sorry, could you move your car, my wife wants to go out"

"Sorry what Paul? your where?" she called over the speaker.

"Are you here for the AA meeting?" "AA? No I'm RAC..."

"Your at an AA meeting?" she asked confused but the interruption of Pilfrey made her realise what he meant suddenly.

"Paul, Alcoholic anonymous? Paul did you speak to Estelle?" she asked over the speaker.

"alcoholics anonymous, what am I doing outside an Alcoholic anonymous meeting?" "Surinder did I hear Paul say he was an Alcoholic?" Pilfrey asked tossing a file aside and leaning on the counter to listen to the speaker.

"I'm not an alcoholic!" he countered as the two started talking over the other side of the phone.

"Nobody said you were" Surinder answered waving Pilfrey away from her shoulder as he reached for the phone.

"although I think my wife might be one" he muttered looking to the building he'd seen Estelle walk out from.

"why is that?" she asked

"Look, Surinder, I why are you asking me these questions? "Why are you interfering with my life in the first place?" he then asked turning to the old man who'd appeared again "Because you're blocking my driveway" he pointed out and Paul looked down to the keep clear sign "Fine, I'm blocking the driveway, all right, I'll move the car, and get out of your life" he tutted "Surinder, just give me a moment" She went to answer just as Ronnie stole the phone.

"Paul! Paul, I'm here, We want to help you, Paul"

"Pilfrey? Is that you? I wasn't aware I was having a conversation with you!" The little commotion had attracted Peter outside as more gathered for the meeting.

"Paul?" "Peter, Hi?" "You too know each other" asked the old man. "We do" Peter smiled waving to the older man's wife. "Although I haven't seen Peter for years" Paul smiled reaching to shake his old friends hand.

"How are you? A lot has happened in my life, Paul" he said shaking the Doctor's hand.

"Yeah, I bet"

"Paul's thinking of coming to the meeting" mentioned the old man when he heard Surinder and Pilfrey mention it over the phone.

"Am I?" he asked looking from the phone to Peter.

" I think that's why he found himself here" the old man said as he watched his wife packing the car.

"I see" Peter smiled rubbing his hand together hoping he could help Estelle with her worries about her husband.

"No, all I want is -" "You don't want to come in with us?" asked Peter as he waved at another man entering the meeting.

"Isn't there anything you want to get off your chest?" Said Pilfrey from the other end of the line suddenly making Peter seem even more convinced.

" I don't see there's any point in my attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting" Paul muttered leaning on the car door now rather confused himself as to why Estelle had visited the meeting. "Why is that, Paul?" Peter asked clapping a hand to his shoulder.

"Because I'm not an alcoholic" he frowned as to why this was suddenly the big conversation, he should be seeing a patient right now not discussing his recent downing of wine at home.

"Right" his friend smiled pushing the car door shut making Paul step back.

"Sure you're not" said Pilfrey still on the line sat on the desk as Surinder lent on his arm listening.

"Sometimes Paul it's really hard to face up to things in yourself. We rather lost touch when I was going through what I went through. Sometimes it was like being in a room, you know, in a big, dark room. Sometimes things went very fast, sometimes they flattened out like a plate" Peter described as they started slowly for the building.

"You're an ex alcoholic" Paul said to Peter as they reached the door playing with his phone in which he realised he was still calling the Clinic desk.

"I am"

"And he's an alcoholic" he asked pointing the older man who'd being bugging him about moving from the drive.

"And you both think that I? Oh, why not" he gave in, though he didn't see how finishing a full bottle of white wine last night made him a alcoholic he decided it was best to stop arguing, perhaps this is what Estelle could want. Now thinking, it hadn't just been last night, he'd be drinking a lot more for the past few months if he was truly honest and in the last 3 weeks he was sure he'd had almost 3 bottles a week.

"Say it!" "Say it" both Peter and Ronnie said simultaneously

"I am an alcoholic" Paul finally said after a long pause and they walked into the building as he hung up on Pilfrey.

"I'm glad you had the courage to say that, Paul"

 

That evening he was sat on the sofa reading a booklet on 'How To Cope With Alcohol' the whole thing had been bullshit as far as he was concerned. He wasn't drinking to get drunk on purpose, though he guessed he'd been over stressed and it was forcing him into that odd comforting zone that the alcohol gave. He was about half way through when Rory and Daniel came down the stairs asking for the car keys.

"why? where the hell are you going at 8 o'clock?" he asked raising an eyebrow at their clothes the girlfriends not far behind them, "where off clubbing, we got passes for 'LocoCoco' on the radio this afternoon" Daniel explained reaching in his dad's coast pockets for the car keys.

"you're not driving, you can't go drive my car when you plan to drink" he growled standing and throwing the booklet aside. "Well you can't drive Mr Alcoholic" Daniel jibed ducking from the swipe Paul made at him.

"Shut up...I'm not an alcoholic" he muttered, "Mum thinks you are though" he said jingling the keys.

Paul shrugged, maybe she did, maybe that's why Peter had been asking about there marriage after the meeting. He never got to see that patient, in the end Ronnie had text to say he'd been out instead. He felt stupid. Ronnie was meant to be in therapy, in recovery from his depression and was now covering for his messing about by counselling them both whilst he tried to juggle himself. What sort of Doctor was he lowering himself too?

"Why don't you come with us Mr Slippery?" asked Laura. "Might be just what you need"

"Yeah dad come with us, you can drive then you can't drink" Rory said. "Plenty of older women go there too, its one hell of club, live band, open bar and everything"

Paul puffed his cheeks out thinking. "Oh why not, I am dressed for it" he guessed looking at his shirt and work shoes. He was dressed same smart casual to the boys and Estelle was still sleeping at her bosses place she wouldn't know. That and he could stop these two getting totally smashed as well.

2 hours later Paul was sat at the bar with a german women talking about medical school whilst nursing a 3rd beer, he shouldn't be drinking but the kids were buying rounds and at happy hour an odd part of him couldn't resist, the atmosphere had gotten to him and he was laughing away at this women's jokes and Daniels bad dancing.

Meanwhile Ronnie and Estelle had decided to meet up for dinner that same night.

The same little Italian place they tried last time and this time Paul wouldn't be disturbing them.

"So Paul went to the meeting?" She asked as he poured her another glass of red. Ronnie nodded as he set aside the bottle. "He did, Peter said he'd given him plenty of information to think on and that perhaps he wasn't as far thrown as we first thought, it looks like we caught it just in time" he smiled licking his teeth like a giant cat.

She brushed back a bang of her hair, as the waiter brought their food. "I'm sorry you've had to cover so much for him this month Ronnie, I-I really don't know what got to him" he sighed inhaling the scent of the rather decadent spicy Lobster and tomato pasta dish she'd ordered. He waved a hand in dismissal "It's fine darling, It's nothing I can't handle in fact it's quite nice to be busy for a change...I think my slow lane days need to start filling up...it's starting to make me feel a bit...unwanted these days you know" he admitted sipping his wine.

"Still no one in your life?" she asked. She had no idea why she suddenly had to ask that question it was very personal but she was truly curious as to why he hadn't someone new in his life.

He shook his head as they began to eat. "No..I, I'm well, I guess I'm not looking really, I think I've been given the cold shoulder too much after Kris to think I'll ever get a happy ending really...but single life isn't all that bad" he didn't sound so sure about his answer but she didn't push.

She wondered whether to ask about it when he just seem to open up, part of her happy it answered her questions about his life and another part feeling guilty and happy that he was at least comfortable to talk about such things now.

"Kris was 5 years younger than me when we met, I was just 29, working at the University hospital as a junior Doctor and she was in training, lovely girl really, tall, slim, brunette, blue eyes, loved life, big surfer, loved cats and enjoyed Chinese food...we hit it off from day one and were stuck to each other like glue for over 2 years, I was close to asking her to marry me when we had our first argument" he explained quietly his voice mellow and warm something that had her hooked to listening, a undertone of perhaps Scottish accent lay in there even and she was surprised shed never taken time to notice.

"Kris had been rumoured to be seeing one of the other junior Doctors...and I got a phone call one night from a guy telling me it was over and she was leaving me for him, I went down to the dormitory where she was and dragged her from the party, we argued and for almost a week we didn't speak. It was only then I found that she'd plagiarised an old Thesis of mine to use in her own and used it in her finals..." he grimaced at the memory.

Estelle's eyes went wide. Those studies could take ages, that must have stung to be used like that.

"it was all she'd wanted me for, status and medical help, once she passed, she ran off with one of the professors not long after" His steel blue eyes seemed more grey tonight, he'd clearly been very hurt by that girl and it made her realise just how lucky she had been meeting Paul and only after 22 years of marriage were they having some issues. Ronnie had never gotten another chance. "I can see what she meant by status Ronnie, you're a great doctor, I know for a fact Paul's jealous of some of the qualifications you have" she tried to cheer him a little she guessed it worked from the weak smile he gave her.

"Thank you...at least someone still admires my work" he jokes, "Paul's a good doctor too really...he has a patient list twice as long as mine...he can certainly talk his head around those 70 year olds that come in thinking they have some foreign diseases even though they haven't left the country in 20 years" Estelle giggled. "True, do you have any qualifications in knocking sense into teenager by any chance?" she asked thinking about her three sons. Ronnie smirked. "Well, I have no first hand experience but I'm sure there's a text book I could dig up"

"So...speaking aphrodisiacs..." he wiggled an eyebrow at the Oysters he was eating. Estelle choked on a tomato for a moment as they both started laughing. "I can't see how on earth Paul fell for that...'rude berry' thing...seriously..." he tutted recalling Paul telling him he had laced her sandwich with it. Ronnie's smile and sense of humour was infectious. Now they both had aired there issues holding them down they lightened out, snarks about Paul and the boys, about work, the upcoming election and some car advert that involved Viagra.

The evening was lightly toned with slight touches beneath the table, a stoke of the hand as they passed the wine, eyes meeting in the few moments of silence as they ate in the warm and almost romantic setting of the little restaurant.

The waiter had just come to clear their plates when she swore she heard Paul's voice. A bang made a lot of people look to the main windows but they saw little more than a pair of police officers and 4 teenagers looking on as possibly one of their friends was being arrested. She couldn't see from there spot the faces otherwise she'd have spotted that it was her sons.

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Before the night was out he recalled a 4th pint and then them arriving at another bar where a game of shots broke out and he was suddenly very very light headed.

_'I'm not an alcoholic'_

"Dad where's the car?" Rory slurred as they left the bar and made past some restaurants...

_'Fuck if Estelle's bored with our sex life'_

"Dad?"

_Ronnie can get the hell away from her she's my wife...why was his wife with Ronnie again?_

He hit a window staring into some building where he was sure as hell he could see Estelle sat laughing over dinner with Pilfrey.

"Dad!" "Dad stop it"

He shouted for her but she didn't hear him.

"Are you drunk sir?"

_I am a good father, just because I let them live doesn't make me a bad father._

_I'm a better doctor...than Ronnie._

He knocked on the glass as he fought to see through his drunken haze. He shouted for his wife again trying to look over his shoulder to the restaurant again.

"Rory?" Laura called as Paul stumbled and was caught by the hand of someone who looked nothing like either of his sons.

"Sir can you hear me?" "Get..off..me...I n-n drunk" he slurred as his vision went grey, _Why was he so tired?_

The hand became more hands and the last thing he recalled seeing was Rory and Daniel helping him to his feet as the grey became colour again and he realised he'd be staring at the pavement.

"Fuck he's wasted--" said Daniel as the police officer stepped in to handcuff Paul and bundle him into the back of a car as he faded out again.


	3. Some Devil, Some Angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul's flipped, the kids have hit a new low, Ronnie's scared and Estelle's got no where left to go.

CHP 3 - Some Devil Some Angel.

 

The first time he'd woken up in a jail cell he'd been 21 after a night out with his graduate mate Peter. But here he was now, 41 turning 42 next month, and waking up hung over in a jail cell for second time with no idea where his sons were or just what had really happened. Looking at his watch he found it was almost 8am the next morning and he was due to the clinic in just under an hour to cover for Ronnie's day off.

_Great way to save your marriage._

He grumbled the thought away as an officer opened the door letting him out to make a call for bail.

Now he could have just called Estelle. But he knew she'd have been very angry finding him doing such stupid things and it would only give her further reason not to want to go back to him. Ronnie was out of the picture since he would have more to tell Estelle and it would be unfair as it was his day off.

Surinder? or Peter?

In the end he phoned Peter who came down by cab and bailed him. "Now I think we have some solid evidence for you Paul that you’re developing a problem" his friend tried gently. "It's clear things are getting you down and you’re resorting to alcohol for it" "B-But I'm not Peter...this was one night out..." he tried to answer reasonably, but his answer fell flat as his mind dragged up the many times this month he'd been late for work or woken up hung-over from drinking. "that's not what Estelle said Paul...she told me you'd been missing work" " a few times I've been late - today included but...I-I can't have...be--" he sighed. Okay perhaps this was worth looking at. Maybe Estelle and Ronnie had seen something in him and he was just being blind to it like a lot of people with depressive issues.

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"There you are!" called Rory, running down the stairs as he dad got in. "Dad?" shouted Daniel, falling of the sofa as he tried to look over from the TV. "Yeah...hey, I need to get changed; I'm due to work in 20 minutes!" he grunted, heading to pass Rory, but he stopped half way. "You shouldn't bother; we called Dr Pilfrey said you'd gotten arrested and you probably wouldn't come in" Daniel said, having now made it into the small hallway.

"Wha-you told Pilfrey? Why?!" "Well we didn't have a number for mom and the police wouldn't tell us whether you'd be out in time for work so we had to do something..." "Where's the car?" "Still at the pub, the owner said he'd keep hold of it so we got the bus home" Rory shouted from the kitchen making toast. Paul ran a hand over his face half mad at himself, half mad at the boys and half mad that Ronnie knew and was probably at the clinic by now doing his shift on his day off.

_I can handle myself_

He stormed up stairs, showered and dressed grabbing his suitcase, jumped on the next bus into town and retrieved his keys from the bar owner apologising and paying for the tabbed bill and made it to work only 30 minutes late.

Ronnie was in the reception talking with Surinder when he entered.

"Paul? I...you okay?" he asked innocently, leaning on the front desk seeing the glare the other Doctor shot him. "I'm fine Pilfrey, I'm fine, you can go, thanks for covering but I'm here and I'm not drunk" he grumbled, taking the file the younger was holding and turning for his office. "Paul? Rory and Daniel said you'd been..." 

"Arrested? Yeah I did...I went out with them to some stupid club and got caught up in their games, few beers too many is all, I didn't get that smashed thanks, I wasn't even charged so you can go" He just couldn't seem to stand the idea of the other Doctor about right now. He was just hoping this would die back before Estelle got to hear of it. But he couldn't trust Ronnie was going to tell her let alone if he hadn't already told her.

"Ronnie, Mr Jackson's waiting in room 2 to have his cast changed" Surinder said holding a file to him but as he went to take it Paul took it. "No, I got it, it's his day off, I can handle this" "Paul, it's not a problem, I can work, it's not like I'm doing a surgery, I am meeting someone for lunch so I'll be gone by then but I can do a morning worth and help" he offered, reaching for the file he'd just taken off Surinder, but Paul stepped back.

"No, Ronnie it's not fair on you, it's your day off, you’re meant to be recovering, the reason they put you on these routines is to reduce stress and me acting up and making you work on your days off will not help, go home" He dropped his case, and pulling a pen from his jacket he began to write something on a form, "Mr Proliek is in Room 1 then Paul" Surinder said smarmily, and he glanced up with grimace at the mention of the Polish man, the father of the girl Rory was dating. Ronnie held a hand out for the man’s file suggesting quietly that he can take it, but Paul just huffed and went back to writing. Ronnie shrugged and took and few steps back to his office, before turning back. "Surinder can you call Gwen and get her to tell Estelle I'll see her in an hour then, I'll just-"

"Why are you seeing Estelle?" Paul snapped glaring once more at the younger Doctor making both Surinder and the people gathered in the reception look at him. Ronnie gulped. "I have a meeting about Uppington clinic trials...I told you last week they'd asked me to be a board member...Estelle is my liaison she's-"

"She's nothing, She is no liaison to you Ronnie, we’re married if that means anything to you, you said you were done cat calling my wife" he growled, stepping around the desk to square himself with Ronnie.

"I'm not cat calling, Paul, she's the one who's been phoning them about getting hold of me, I'm meant to see her twice a week for updating my folders, she's my agent even and married seems like cheap word coming from you right now, I can't see how you dare bite me in the ass about the fact you've somehow managed to drive her away with your constant fathering of her social life, the women has her own life to live and not just being some house pet you keep as a trophy, if that is how she's feeling no wonder she'd be thinking to run off with someone else like myself, at least I would treat her as a women that matters" he realised that last sentence was a mistake a moment too late as Paul's fist connected with his jaw and he stumbled backwards against the desk in shock. He reached up as Paul shot forward again, and grabbing him by the collar trying to get control but failed as he threw another punch this time more directly in the side of his face, and he hit the floor from the force, yelling in pain as the man brought the heel of his shoe down on his hand.

Surinder and a man waiting in the reception had rushed into the fray the moment Paul threw the second punch and began to wrestle Paul away as he went to grab at Ronnie again. "Get...off me..." he spat at the large electrician as he was pulled several feet away towards the racks of magazines. "Steady Doctor, was there need for that?" he argued as Surinder and another women leant over Ronnie as he tried to sit up.

The glimpse of blood he then noticed on the stark white shirt was like a bullet in his head. Something more shocking than if the man had tossed bucket of ice water at him.

_Drunk and disorderly, now you attack your own doctor's in your own clinic_

All the anger and pent up frustration drained from him as Ronnie clambered a bit unsteadily to his feet as Surinder tried to clean the blood off his face from the cut above his eye.

Not another word was said as they exchanged a look across the waiting area, everyone but Ronnie seemed angry at him, Ronnie just seemed disappointed turning away and making for his office to patch himself up. A few minutes later Surinder re-appeared from the office and shoved the files Ronnie was meant to be seeing under his nose as he stared at his hands and sat in the reception and contemplated just what the hell he'd just done.

"I'm sorry," he muttered towards her as she made back for the desk. "try saying that to the colleague who you just assaulted, Paul, if I were Ronnie I wouldn't forgive you...you treat him like a game, he's a human being, perfect he might not be but you have got to stop with this over bearing protective shit with Estelle, women hate it, we hate it when our partners decide we become their 'possessions' " she huffed, sitting down and picking up the phone to do as Ronnie had asked her previously.

He'd just got past a third patient when he saw Estelle appear in the lobby. She stormed to the front desk and he watched unable to hear as both she and Surinder seemed to have a rather rambled conversation, with the way Surinder gestured, he guessed she was explaining about the fight. He groaned at himself and banged his head on his desk as Ronnie appeared in a clean shirt with a blackening eye and the cut now held with some steristrips, the hand he was carrying his case with was also bandaged heavily. The man looked like he'd been in a pub fight more than a domestic scuffle with his boss. His boss.

_Bloody hell Paul_

"Bloody hell Paul!" his head snapped up as Estelle burst in seething and clearly on the war path even more than ever.

"What you doing here?" he asked carefully, hoping to hell she didn't hit him now too. "I'm fucking here because Surinder called me saying you'd attacked my client let alone it being Pilfrey!" she shouted. "How dare you take his kindness to help us both though our shit and have the balls to suggest he's trying to steal me from you, if anything I'm walking the hell away from you, if you're going to starting beating the crap out of the rest of my male friends!"

"I doubt I'd win against your sister's husband" he commented thinking about the huge ex rugby player. "No I doubt you would and I don't know why I don't call him to come smack some sense into you, you go out on a work night with your fucking sons and help them into a club, under-age might I add, then get drunk and arrested" He frowned confused. "the drinking age is 18 Estelle, They-"

"LocoCoco is a striper bar for 21 and over you idiot, it's part of the casino!" she argued shuffling with her hand bag. "And I only know that because Gwen and I went - fuck I'm not explaining, you did wrong Paul, you're not thinking whatsoever about their lives let alone your own" The room went quiet as she awaited some answer, "Who told you I got arrested?" She huffed, yeah not the answer she wanted. "Rory, he arrived at the office asking for some cash for a taxi to get to work for the next few days since you seem to have ignored the fact we only have the one car and they need lifts to their jobs and you haven't taken them to work all week like you’re supposed to!"

He'd hadn't properly been working this week as it was. Counting he must have missed almost two full days worth of work having missed mornings, and even had to move clients to make house calls instead. "You think I have anger issues maybe?" he muttered mostly to himself rather than Estelle who just blinked at the change in subject. "Yes, you know I guess you have, you've always been very laid back emotionally even when Rory smashed the lounge door in with an axe you didn't get pissed but in the last three years you see another man just look at me and you flip!!"

"Then there's her" she dead panned gesturing towards Surinder at the desk with her head. Paul frowned. "What about her?" "You flirt...you can't stand another man looking at me but you come here every day and butter her up, then you come back from work blogging about how Sue from the vets keeps suggesting you both go places...you don't think I feel you're bored with me?" she sighed, watching as Ronnie appeared at the desk again with his briefcase and signed out, hovering by the desk looking toward the office clearly waiting on Estelle. Paul looked to his watch. It was almost 11.

"So...lunch with Ronnie?" he asked raising an eyebrow. Estelle rolled her eyes.

"Were going to a meeting in Uppington to have lunch with a director, it's not just us, Paul for goodness sake get used to the fact that I'm a recruitment agent will you, I have to maintain a friendship with my clients just like you have to go and see yours, I'm not running off with Ronnie but unless you get your act together there's a chance I'm not coming back to you..." she then simply opened the door and left, trotting over to Ronnie in her heels smiling, suggesting she take his briefcase before he declined, they laughed over something he then said before then made their way out to the car.

Paul watched from the window as she got in the car with Ronnie and they drove off wondering the last time he'd had the time to take Estelle to lunch. The last time he'd suggested he drive and take her out on an evening. The last time he wasn't working and they could go away for a weekend...whichever way he thought, it had been far too long.

The same evening he phoned her. He must have phoned to offer some sort of apology but the way Estelle was feeling right now half crying into her pillow like broken hearted teenager it was more or less just another fight and reason to tell him to fuck off. Rolling over, she looked to the little clock on the dresser. It was almost 9pm and she felt like shit. She wanted out and she wanted more wine.

Gwen had already gone to bed but Estelle was in no mood to sleep. Not alone. She was fed up to not having Paul beside her, just...someone there. She sat up and reached down for her handbag and shuffled in it for her phone, finding it was flashing.

_[NEW MESSAGE -7:35PM] R.Pilfrey - 'Paul phoned saying he phoned you? Are you okay?'_

She sniffed, wiping away her running make-up. Should she reply? He was only trying to help, but she did have questions.

Paul had said Ronnie was still in love with her, she didn't want to lead him on. That would be unfair. But she knew if she could just rant about Paul for an hour to someone who would listen she'd feel better about it. Maybe Ronnie had some idea how to help...okay, that was a long shot since he'd never been married himself but it's not as if he could give her any worse advice.

{Text: What did he say?}

She laid the phone on dresser and shuffled into the bathroom to wipe away the panda eyes she'd developed from her mascara running. She only came back out once her phone buzzed a few minutes later.

_[R.Plifrey] - 'Long story short, that you told him to fuck off...shall I come over in the morning and we can talk?'_

She huffed thinking for a bit as she re-dressed. She was about to reply when she changed her mind and decided laying in bed feeling sorry for herself would be the worst thing right now. She needed out.

Having fractured his writing hand so he couldn't draw, Ronnie was having a late night and was laid out on the sofa watching some shark documentary in his thick cotton work shirt and light washed jeans when there was knock at his door. He frowned, that couldn't be the Chinese guy yet as he'd only order ten minutes ago. Because Estelle didn't reply he guessed she'd gone to bed but was surprised to find that when he opened the door, she was there, on his door step.

"Estelle? Wha-are you okay?" he rushed out stepping back and reaching a hand for her at the same time to have her come in from the damp night. She tried to smile, but it just seemed he could read her like a book.

"No...not really" she muttered, unravelling her scarf and tucking her car keys away. Ronnie shut the door, his mind reeling as to just what such a women could want to frequent his two-bedroom flat at this hour. Now he wished he'd done his chores.

Entering his flat, Estelle noticed the pictures hung along the wall in the tight hall, his doctorates and diplomas. She followed him quietly into his open living room kitchen as he began talking. Books and magazines lined the shelves neatly, but the casually tossed jumper on the back of the sofa, the full recycling bin and scattered files and empty coffee mugs all suggested a weakened soul as she ran her eyes over the books stacked on the floor beside the sofa, each with dog eared pages.

'How to cope with: depression book 2'

'Big Book of Emergency Medicine'

‘Too good to leave, too bad to stay'

'Just Breathe - Talking Depression'

'Physiology 101'

She sighed as she shrugged free of her coat and hung it up, here she was running to Pilfrey about her tanking relationship when the poor guy had his own issues to talk out.

"Estelle?" Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice finally reaching her ears, as he stood beside her holding a steaming mug of tea. "oh...sorry Ronnie, got lost there" she smiled weakly, thanking him for the drink. He quickly shuffled aside some files and moved the old woollen blanket that was balled up at one side of the sofa. "S-Sorry the place is such a mess, I haven't really bothered with cleaning much this week" he offered shyly, as he looked confused at some OK magazine he seemed to have acquired before tossing down the side of the sofa so she couldn't see it.

"I don't mind honestly, It's quite refreshing, Gwen’s place is all marble white and too perfect for me really especially when I'm used to such a mess with the boys" He scratched at his head as he sat down with her ruffling up his slightly shorter than normal hair. His jaw darkening with late night stubble, noticed as she admired his jaw line, she reached tenderly to the bruising.

"Gods Ronnie that's got to hurt" she winced looking at the deepening purple black bruise that was forming around his eye, "It's nothing it will be gone by the start of next week" he panned trying to seem relaxed about it. In truth his jaw ached, even blinking hurt. "I'm so sorry about Paul, I have absolutely no idea what the hell has gotten into him lately" she said sadly, as she traced her fingertips lovingly over the swelling and shading to examine the cut.

"I know...I'm worried as well, though for more or less your safety than my own, he can beat the crap out of me all he likes I would just hate if he suddenly aimed it you" Estelle shook her head, "Paul has never and I doubt he'd start now, but I won't want to forgive him for this"

"What did he say Estelle...on the phone, he must have upset you for you to have ended up here, with me of all people...Ronnie 'the perv' Pilfrey as according to the shorter one I confused for a inspector?"

"Edwin" She answered rolling her eyes, he would never cease to grow up that one it seemed.

"That's the one..." he chuckled. She settled back in the sofa content for the company now, just being somewhere else and with someone else made her feel better. "The meeting went well" she started. Work was really all she could think of to distract the subject she knew was coming. But she'd hold it off as long as she could. "Yea, I think it did...good job on the 'lunatic patient' excuse...I was going to say hit by a door but I doubt they'd have believed a door could fracture my hand as well!" he said lifting the bandaged hand, he'd changed it when he got home to something a bit lighter now that he'd had the time to examine it.

"I still wish you'd have let me take you to the hospital for that" Estelle admitted wincing hard at the sight of it. He smiled, "No I'll be okay, if it doesn’t feel better in the next few days I'll get it checked but he can't have done that much damage" With that said Estelle tried to move on to a few things they'd spoken about like his timetable and how the other clinic were eager to see him join them at next month's RSM meeting on Hypnosis.

He let her ramble for a good ten minutes before placing a hand on her knee making her jump, going deathly quite as she looked to him confused. He could clearly see she was trying to avoid taking about Paul. But he wasn't sure whether it just because of the tone of subject or the fact she was just worried about the emotional affair it was causing talking to him about all of it. He knew it common for a few women to find comfort in the arms of another man when they were emotionally hurt by another, this usually leading to one or two ending up in adultery, but the general feeling was she was far too loyal to Paul to think about such things. At the end of the day all he could be was a Doctor and friend, even if part of him pined to offer his own affections.

"Estelle...what did Paul say on the phone, I know this isn't easy for either of you, this isn't just about a break up, this is marriage a long one that involves 3 sons...none of it will be easy and I'm sorry...I'd fix it all if I could, knock sense into Paul if I had a chance, but in the end I'm no man to take advice from when I haven't had a relationship in so many years...If this is going to end, I want you walking away without regret, I want you to be sure of every step you take in the other direction, you don't needs his lies and promises to patch things up, Paul needs to learn where's he's wrong and if he's going to lose such an incredible women, brilliant mother and loving sister and daughter as yourself then he must really, really have fucked up."

He had no idea where those words came from, he was tired and in pain and he guessed his heart was elsewhere with the women of his dreams sat beside him right now, emotionally compromised from her husband's antics, he hoped what he said meant more than he felt, unable to take his eyes from hers from first word to last and waited holding his breath for a response as she stared back.

_What women cannot love you?_

_What could I have done to deserve your admiration?_

"He said you'd admitted you were still in love with me"

With a sigh he very slowly slid his hand from her knee letting it fall to the little part of sofa between them and shyly looked away back to the flickering TV. "Did he tell you that he doesn't like the fact your job has to involve me?" he asked quietly, not wishing to sound annoyed but he hated the idea Paul would demand that his wife stay away from her own clientele.

"He did...he said he guessed he'd upset you by saying that he didn't like me being your agent and then he mentioned he didn't see why I had to be your agent and why couldn't Gwen do it and I hopefully kicked his head in about that...but...if...anything upset me it was about the boys..." He quickly looked back to her as she stuttered. "All the boys are fighting...Rory's trying to steal Daniel's girlfriend according to Edwin and they just tore into each other, Daniel's now got a broken arm and Rory's bedrooms door has been hacked to pieces with an axe...he just goes this is your fault they need a mother and shit about the fact he can't be expected to father them when he works all day and they think I'm having an affair because I left him and then...fucking hell Ronnie I just can't take his bull shit!" She was bordering sobs in a second and found herself crying into Ronnie's shoulder before she steeled herself.

It was strange how comforting the feeling of his arm around her felt, the musky scent of some unknown aftershave that lined the collar of his shirt and the rumble from his chest as he hushed her. The moment she started crying he lost track of through, all he could think of his how out of line Paul's behaviour towards her was getting. He was treating her like a possession. His wife she was maybe but he had no right to control what or how she lived.

Sadly he also felt they had both really gotten bored of each other recently. They didn't seem to want to admit the idea, but from what he had being saying about Estelle so caught up with working and they hadn't booked a family holiday in over three years, not to mention Paul's muttering about them not having sex for most of the year... It was bound to happen somewhere he realised, all relationships hit dry land at some point and it seemed that they had beached a little later than most. Mostly because neither of them had control of the relationship now.

Eventually they just settled together on his sofa without another word. He kept wishing he had something more comforting to say but he was just too emotionally exhausted himself to offer much else but company. Then his stomach growled and the door bell rang.

"Wondered where that had gotten to" He jumped up from the sofa as Estelle watched puzzled and he collected the Chinese from the door. When he came back he was reading the back of a packet of prawn cracker.

"You wouldn't happen to be hungry would you? It's just I always order the Meal for two and end up eating the stuff for breakfast" he sighed holding the blue bag up which a most delectable smell was floating from. Estelle found herself laughing at that as her own stomach murmured. She hadn't eaten since 6 o’clock and it really did smell good.

Following Ronnie into the kitchen they lightened the subject to the fact he had a few kitchen planning books from B&Q and was looking to redecorate. He got the plates and bowl for the prawn toast while she piled the food on and he set the plastic boxes in the sink, "I know it seems...well I’m not sure but are you a wine girl?" he asked holding a half bottle of white wine he'd taken from the fridge, "I just feel it's needed"

Estelle nudged him playfully. "You shouldn't drink on those painkillers Pilfrey, you know that" He shrugged, "aye, but one glass before the next set won't hurt, wine, take out and trashy TV is my usual night routine...unless Chris is in town then we go and play poker at his but he's abroad at the moment" he shrugged.

Eating wasn't too hard for him Estelle noted, seeing as his fork hand was damaged the food was munched quiet casually over an flip flopping discussion about Cats and then about her relationship with Paul.

"So...you think he's bored with 'us'?" she asked scrapping at the rice on her plate in thought. Ronnie shook his head. "I doubt he is...otherwise he wouldn't be so protective of you Estelle, but I...well, how can I say I think subconsciously you've ...out grown him really...perhaps you’re bored of him, I mean, have you thought about sex with him recently..." he asked through a mouthful of noodles as he smirked. Estelle tried to hide a smile. "I can truthfully say I guess I haven't...though we don't have a sex drive like you men do we?" Ronnie set his fork down and scratched at the short stubble on his chin.

"Well...it is true a male sex drive is more straight forward than a female’s...we can get in the mood at any time we fancy really where as I guess the for most women you prefer the correct setting, something that perhaps drives a kink or even a thrill...you prefer the act to have meaning rather that it just something to...do!"

"It's why some times when perhaps you've been out with a handsome male friend perhaps that let's say dinner, movie, basic date stuff but on a friendly terms, and your sat together perhaps as the evening winds down you find your mind wandering to the thought of their hands perhaps or even how he smells, how tight his jeans are or even if the size of his shoes do really have the secret to what his...-"

"Yes thank you Ronnie I get it" she giggled, cutting him off, making him smirk again, and winking knowing full well he'd really just described the situation she was in right now. "Completely normal then" she asked casually, munching a prawn cracker as she side glanced him from her spot on the sofa. He chuckled. "Oh yes, definitely as a Doctor I know these things..." he teased.

"Just like when you place a man in such situation he can't help but admire her legs, or the way the shirt she wears hugs her curves, the way her hair curls, or the smudged makeup from crying that just seems to make her eyes even more beautiful... and men like myself to make idiots of themselves by ludicrously chatting up married women and hoping they don't sound as desperate as they look" he panned, seemingly getting annoyed at himself in tone as he finds he'd been eyeing her as he talked.

"Sorry got carried away"

Estelle sighed as she watched the man suddenly pin himself back and apologise for how he felt. To be honest it was refreshing to hear it. A few years ago she'd have found it a little creepy the way he'd flirt but she found the flirting was clearly grounded he'd never aimed for a one night stand he was genuinely enamoured with her. Something Paul hadn't been for a long time. Plates now aside, they went back into the kitchen and started coffee, the distance between them in the kitchenette made her brave.

_Screw Paul, I want Ronnie's side to all this_

"Keep going...for once Ronnie I really want to hear this..." He seemed shy at first to even think to continue but his mind was too tired to argue with his heart racing.

"About...the fact you're so queenfully sassy...how every time you just walk in the room I can't help but smile, that I wish I could spend the money I have on a fancy sports car on buying you every finer thing you could want, that I just want to pull off every inch of those fitted suits you wear to work...with my teeth, that I have fantasies of having you running those nails down my back as I make love to you in a five-star hotel room?..." As he started to list off again she got closer...she found an odd bravery making her move towards him. Her palms almost itching to feel the fabric of his shirt beneath them and to catch the scent of his aftershave. Consciously just wanting the comforts of a male presence, though she had a tiny niggling feeling she was subconsciously pining for something else...

"That I'd want to spend every waking moment saying your name because it's a blessing in disguise" She stopped toe to toe with him.

Watching his eyes darken as she brushed her fingers against his as if asking silent permission to hold his hands. "Watching your lips when you talk wondering just how, soft they are...what you'd taste like.." Every word built a thickening tension. Every little movement coiled it tighter...she was so close, he tried to continue but his mouth had gone dry, his silver blue eyes unable to leave her own warm browns, trapped.

He lent down fractionally as she tilted her head closer. Her own eye flicking his lips possibly wondering the same thing. He was frozen, he wanted to pounce, to hold her to kiss her, the blood rushing south at the images running though his head. Just as he went to open his mouth to say something else she inched closer and he copied her movement unthinking as their lips met.

The gentle almost tentative touch quickly became fuller, rougher and hungry as her hand grasped into his shirt and his arms found their way around her waist to pull her to him, the warm feel of her against his body made him moan in unadulterated need. Apart from the sound of the coffee machine heating up and the drone of the TV in the other room, the sound of their breathing was the only other sound in the kitchen. The soft cotton of his shirt beneath her hand did nothing to mask the heat seeping through it, cool fingertips brushing at the hem of her skirt as his tongue plundered her mouth for all the treasures it could claim in this rare moment. The sharpening reminder of her painted nails as they prickled into his hair, tugging him closer, hips grinding harder, pressing, wanting. As the machine beeped to signal it had finished, they broke apart, her lipstick smudged on his lips and the heated and hard feel of him pressed against her stomach.

Taking a few deep breaths of air, he opened his mouth to perhaps protest them going any further, or he might have even planned on asking if she wanted to see his bedroom, but he was unable to let a single letter slip as her lips crushed back to him, smothering the words. She didn't know what he wanted to say and she didn't care, good or bad she was determined to finish just what had started and all she could want was more.

Her mind was suddenly drunk on some of the most romantic fantasies she'd ever dreamt, yes at some point that man would have been and she guessed should have been Paul, but right now Ronnie fit that bill perfectly and she was determined to at least have one played out tonight. They were quickly moving backwards towards the sofa as she pulled loose the shirt from his belt and her palms met the heated skin covering the taught muscles of his back... She gasped as the cool air of the room met her chest when her blouse slipped free and Ronnie’s lips left hers dipping to pay feverish attention to her delicate neck, kissing a ticklish line from her jaw to her breast, his teeth scrapped at the fabric of her bra and she giggled.

She couldn't say it wasn't incredibly arousing to feel another man so hungry physically for her. She entwined her slim legs around his strong calves as he lowered her into the leather of the sofa cushions, the cool leather sent goose bumps to prickle over her arms a sharper contrast to the flush of her skin and the tell-tale damping that was slowly starting to gather between her thighs. Kneeling between her thighs Ronnie quickly set to work on his shirt flinging it aside revelling his wiry frame, which just accented the toned muscled that lay beneath the skin, the flat stomach that dipped to sharp hip bones, the smattering of dark hair that feathered its way up from beneath his belt line had her nipping her lower lip as he lent over her the enticing bulge in his jeans not doing very well to hide just what the younger Doctor was carrying between his own thighs. She met him halfway, claiming his lips slowly, a kiss that set a tone, loving, calming, almost sweet.

"Tell me to stop" he breathed hotly beside her ear as her hand slipped back into his hair line knotting themselves into his natural brown waves, she went to say no, but paused a second too long clearly as Ronnie inched back from her. He ran the situation though his head, the setting was one of the better, emotional distress driving them here, as he went to inch back further her nails dug into his shoulder stopping him, she clearly wanted to hear something else.

Three little words.

The one thing that always sparked such intimate moments but it was something they both knew he really shouldn't say. She huffed at herself and dragged him quickly back into the kiss, nails scratching slightly down his front as she grasped at his belt, a determined answer to the silence. No.

He came down on top of her as he fumbled her skirt zipper with his good hand eventually tugging it down and helping the material slide away down her legs, she pulled him closer lifting her hips to his groin as she managed his belt open and yanked open the few buttons of the fly, she was sodden, he could feel her damp silk against the cotton of his boxers. He felt himself twitch sharply at the sensation of her pressing against him, and bucked his hips back just as eager to feel her. She toed down his jeans as he slipped her lingerie aside, unable to wait much longer to have the women of his dreams moaning and crying his name as he pleasured her on his sofa. Part of him had hoped it would have started out a bit more romantic and had progressed into the bedroom but the emotion jarring they had both received today seemed to be far too much for either to properly communicate.

With no time for protection, from a clash of lips came a grunt, a gasp, the jiggle of his belt around his ankles and set of deep throated moans later Estelle was leaving deep red notches in his back whilst he buried his head into her neck nipping at his throat as he rocked his hips driving deeper and harder inside her with every stroke and with every stroke it stoked the fire inside them both a desperate need for mutual understanding, a comforting zone of pleasure, a need for love when none was in hand and possibly the grounding of a new one.

'RONNIE!'

The name flew from her lips like a gunshot as he hit just that one spot on a particularly deep thrust and she came quivering beneath him, he growled into her neck as he gritted through the fluttering of her slick walls around his length, thrusting but three more times until he moaned out her own name coming deep inside her.

The afterglow was spent snuggled half asleep on that sofa, Estelle contently resting on his chest as the clock at 2am Ronnie found bed was needed when a yawn broke from him. Shuffling Estelle aside, he managed to stand pulling up his jeans, turn off the TV then lifting her carefully he carried her into his bedroom settling her under the covers. He then ditched his jeans, climbed in beside her, he lay watching her sleep for a good few minutes trying to preserve the moment wondering if when he wake next he'll find the whole thing may have been a drug induced dream and with sigh, he settled kissing her forehead as he closed his eyes, he surprisingly slept solidly until daybreak.

It was 8am when Estelle woke, she snuggled deeper into the soft covers as she came round, the sunlight streaming through the blinds into a room she slowly came to realise was not that of his bosses guest room or her own. As the event of the day and night before returned to her she rolled over hearing a hiss from the little bathroom, she spotted Pilfrey stood at the sink admiring the deep purple shiner Paul had given him the day before. He seemed very dizzy on his feet, the bandages he'd clearly been changing as they sat in a pile on the floor and a fresh set had now been done, she shuffled from the bed and padded to his side making him jump.

"Christ!!"

"Sorry, Ronnie- oh god" she turned his jaw towards her immediately at seeing the size of the bruising that now covered almost half his face. He could hardly talk without it hurting, the swelling having doubled. "Do think it's broken?" she asked worriedly at the colouring. Ronnie shook his head. "unlikely...I think I'd know, it doesn't hurt really unless I touch it....or blink" he gritted out on side of his mouth, Estelle tutted bringing her hands away to take hold of his injured hand, stroking her thumbs over the bandages she could just see some bruising peeking out from beneath them as well.

"Go back to bed, I'll fetch you some ice" she offered guiding him back to the bed. He tried to protest but the headache and dizziness left him with no choice but to accept.

He tried to go back to sleep but the throbbing seemed too much to argue with, then Estelle returned and he opened an eye to see her fussing with a cold flannel and an ice pack. She wrapped the ice pack in a towel from the bathroom and had his hand rest pressed to it as she held the cold flannel to his cheek. He winced a little but found it very helpful to the heat that was currently making him feel very sick.

"You have work" he muttered sleepy as she continued to sit beside him and dab at the bruising. She smiled. "I know...but my first meeting isn't until 11 and I doubt I'll be seeing him today" Pilfrey looked confused when it hit him.

"Oh...that's me" he smiled weakly as she nodded. "I'll rearrange it until you’re better, I doubt we can have you appearing at the clinical meeting like this"

Ronnie sighed, "I guess not"

As she dabbed at his cheek, she found her other hand wandering across his bare chest, her palm curiously feeling the little chest hairs beneath it, the dip and curve of his pectorals and little peaks of his nipples. He watched her unwaveringly as she let her hand explore, her face a mixture of curiosity and sadness. She was thinking about Paul. He was sure of it. He felt guilty and joyous at the same time, but he couldn't pinpoint just what to say.

Somewhere along the space of ten minutes he must have closed his eyes because when he awoke three hours later, She was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alteration work from Episode 5 of Fortysomething where Paul was believed to have become an alcoholic. Characters are in no way my own and all rights of the TV series are that of ITV and it's original writers. (NON profit - fan use only)


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